Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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