Im at strip club and am horny
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
