She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
