First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
