He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
