Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So much rum. So many feels.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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