32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
