Hey man sorry I got all grabby
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
