I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
