and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
