i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
