So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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