you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
