Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
