I got chris browned last night
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
