Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize