What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
