If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
