i just had sex bonerless
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Randomize
