you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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