Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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