MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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