That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
