You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
