Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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