She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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