What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize