If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it's great music for shaving your balls
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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