we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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