can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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