i was born a porn star she said
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
