whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
