I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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