even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
