yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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