used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
NoShamevember. You game?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
