Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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