All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
