Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
