You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
