I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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