I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
