Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
PANTIES FOUND
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