Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Randomize
