R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize