I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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