I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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