You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There r osticjed everywhere
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
