glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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