Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
