I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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