we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
