i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
