Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
