Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize