My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
