we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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