I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize